I taught my boyfriend to knit—and every stitch brought us closer

Knitting is one of the most important parts of my life. It keeps me sane in a world where everything else seems to happen in a whirlwind of activity. It soothes me and keeps me grounded.

My boyfriend was introduced to knitting at the same time he was introduced to me. He watched me knit for hours, amazed that I could keep going while watching TV, talking, or nearly dozing off. Eventually, he asked me to teach him so he could explore this craft and understand what it means to me. I was delighted—it felt good that he wanted to get to know me through it.

as his first knitting project, I suggested a hat that would use only knit stitches, so he wouldn’t have to learn how to purl right away. I created a pattern without a ribbed brim. We chose a yarn that wasn’t overly chunky (in my opinion, extremely thick yarn isn’t ideal for beginners) and used 5-millimeter needles, which worked perfectly. We used a long circular needle and the magic loop technique, which I find easy and convenient.

First, I showed him how to cast on stitches. His initial reaction was amused confusion, followed by a laugh: “Whaaaat? What’s going on here?”

I knit a couple of stitches very slowly, then handed him the needles, guiding his hands as he scooped the yarn with the tip. He was performing a completely new motion sequence, but after a few repetitions, he caught on.

I mentioned that the magic loop technique can intimidate some knitters, but if you learn it first, it’s actually quite straightforward. We talked about how trying something new can feel daunting to some knitters. Some end up knitting the same pair of socks for years, while others—like me—are always eager to learn and experiment.

Then I demonstrated how to join the cast-on stitches in the round for a hat and guided him through the first row. My boyfriend tried different hand and finger positions, asking me how best to hold everything. I encouraged him to pick whatever felt most natural. I explained that there are as many knitting styles as there are knitters, and finding your own approach takes time.

The first row was finished slowly. Undeterred, he kept knitting almost every evening by my side, stitch after stitch, row after row. Sometimes a stitch dropped. I was glad he felt comfortable asking for help when he needed it.

After a few rows, he began to question his progress. When I took a closer look, I realized I’d made a total beginner’s error: I had twisted the work when joining it into a round, and the hat was spiraling. We both laughed, and I explained that unraveling is inevitably part of learning to knit. Once my boyfriend had knitted about ten centimeters (about 4 in), he started to understand what I meant by a knitting flow. He said he wasn’t quite there yet, but he could see how his hands might eventually move on their own.

The hat was already at the decreases at the crown, and we’d gotten to know each other better in the process. I loved how patiently he embraced learning something completely new. It felt wonderful for both of us to share that experience. We knitted side by side, and in the meantime, he wanted to learn everything about the knitting scene, yarns and materials, and how much yarn a sweater might require. It made me love him all the more.

I discovered that my boyfriend is truly ‘knitworthy.’ He learned to appreciate the time and effort required for a good piece of knitting, and I know he’d treasure anything I made for him. He was patient with our first mishap, and confident enough to ask for and accept advice. We both saw how much our shared stitches brought us closer.

Last winter, the hat he knitted joined us on a ski trip to Lapland. He’s already chosen yarn for his next project, a scarf. This summer, it was my turn to explore his hobby of downhill biking. He yelled pointers from behind as I raced downhill, screaming.

Check out the instructions: Easy hat for a man—this beginner-friendly hat is knitted entirely without purl stitches