Your own space shouldn't depend on your living circumstances—you can, and should, claim it mentally
I realized I don’t actually have a personal space in my home that’s just for me. Everyone longs for an island of calm, even if only occasionally or thanks to noise-cancelling headphones, writes Miia Kauhanen.
“A woman must have a room of her own,” declared British author Virginia Woolf nearly a hundred years ago. The idea also involved money and writing, but let’s not get into that now. That famous quote came to mind as I began to wonder where my own space is in my home—the very house I was privileged to build exactly how I wanted. It turns out I don’t have one at all!
Oh dear, is that a design flaw? All my children have their own bedrooms, but I share mine with my partner, which is a happy arrangement in itself.
According to a study about ideal housing, (Asuntomessut, Asumisen ihanteet study), Finns crave their own peace and privacy, although communal spaces are also on the rise. In my home, I’ve devoted space especially to shared living areas because that’s where most of life happens.
I’ve addressed my growing children’s need for privacy, but did I forget my own? Have I fallen into that common trap where a mom who looks after everyone else thinks about herself last? Perhaps I assumed that eventually the entire house would be mine (and my spouse’s)—but that’s quite different from having a space that’s mine alone. A place free of everyone else’s clutter and noise.
You can also claim a space for yourself occasionally. It’s also about taking time for yourself.
Your own space shouldn’t rely on square footage or living standards. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to. You can and should claim it on a mental level. You don’t need a whole room—maybe we shouldn’t take Woolf too literally. Still, the idea is important for everyone.
You can also claim a space for yourself occasionally. It’s also about taking time for yourself. Now’s my moment—lock the bathroom door. I create my own sound bubble by putting on noise-cancelling headphones and diving into a podcast or audiobook while tackling laundry. And when everyone else is out and I have the house to myself for a few hours, I feel almost as free as I did when my parents left me in charge of the house as a teenager. Oh, and nobody else goes into my closet. I don’t go in there much, either, but I could plaster the inside of those doors with inspiration pictures if I wanted.
Everyone needs something entirely their own. Be sure to give yourself the space, too.
