My child’s friend stepped into our hallway, and I nearly uttered a phrase I’ve resolved to stop saying
‘Where should I put my coat?’ asked a child who was visiting us for the first time. That simple question made me reminisce about the home of one of my own childhood friends, writes managing editor Katri Jaalamaa.
My child’s schoolmate hesitated in our hallway, coat in one hand, shoes in the other. There was a closet nearby, and it had space and a hanger for the coat—but you couldn’t reach it, as a sea of shoes was already strewn in front of it.
I chuckled and gestured toward the other side of the hallway, where a pile of coats lay on the stair railing. The child tossed theirs onto the pile and dashed off to play. Welcome to our home!
How wonderful it would be if a home were always perfectly tidy. But our home is in such a condition only occasionally—for example, just before we host a party—or one area at a time, the spot that was just organized. So everyday visitors get to see a different side as well.
At least our home is a place where you’re welcome, even on less-than-perfect days.
Even though I’ve already decided not to, sometimes I still nearly apologize to our child visitors for our place being a bit messy. But usually, I manage to stop myself before the words come out. And that’s when I journey in my mind to the home of a childhood friend of mine.
When I was a child, the most carefree play in the whole neighborhood happened at my friend’s house, where half the steps of the stairs were taken by various items, and where the adults favored baking over cleaning. There were other kinds of homes too—ones where you felt a bit nervous to do anything, and ones you couldn’t visit but about which saddening rumors circulated.
So it’s a bit messy, but so be it. The everyday mess is such a trivial cause for feeling shame about your home that I plan to learn to tolerate it like an adult, who would rather spend her time on something other than constantly making sure that the house is organized. At least our home is a place where you’re welcome even on less-than-perfect days. There will definitely come years when I’ll miss the sea of shoes and the pile of coats.
